Turtle?

So, I was reading a co-worker's paper at lunch and discovered this gem*:

Q: In a recent column, John Kelso referred to some of his friends who had toilet-papered his house as being as drunk as Cooter Brown. And, on a couple of occasions, my wife has referred to me the same way. I did an Internet search to no avail. All the references were to a champion chocolate Labrador retriever and some musician. Who was Cooter Brown and just how drunk was he?

A: Most etymologists dismiss the phrase as a Southern expression of unknown origin. Cooter, by the way, is slang for turtle.

The Farmer's Almanac notes Cooter Brown was a resident (it is unclear if he was mythical or real) near the Mason-Dixon Line during the Civil War. Cooter did not want to be drafted by the Union or the Confederacy and had divided loyalties with relatives on both sides of the conflict. His solution? An extended drinking binge until the war was over.

*Link will require one-time registration with the Austin American Statesman.

"Cooter" is not a word that I would ever use as slang for a turtle. It's a term that I won't even say aloud unless I'm around people I feel very comfortable with. It is something to be waxed, but not at all with Turtle Wax, that's for sure.